“There's a riot goin' on
Up in cell block number nine”
Okay, not a riot. A discussion. A very lively discussion based on my memoir, “Second-Chance Mother,” and blogger Jane Edwards’ question: Does reunion give birthmothers a second chance?
If you haven’t already read the post, here’s the link: Second Chance If you read it and haven’t been back since, you might want to peruse the comments.
Lots of opinions and feelings being expressed by mothers and adoptees. And IMHO, an honest airing of the pain that adoption inflicts.
P.S. If you go and feel compelled to comment, please keep it relevant — don’t write something like, “I know Denise and she’s a wonderful person.” No need to defend me. I represent many birthmothers in reunion, so not taking it personally.
5 comments:
Wondered if you were reading that. It gave me a writing prompt for my own blog but havent had the time to write. Will do so after holidays.
Looking forward to that, Suz.
FMF doesn't have a subscribe to comments feature, so I didn't know so much was going on until I randomly decided to check today.
Do you use a blog/feed reader? It helps hugely. Just add all the blogs you like to your reader and go to you reader only. Its like a collection of online stories brought to your own personal view/newspaper. You only need to add the feed address of BMFM to it.
I use Google Reader since I am on gmail. I recommend.
Yeah, it was an interesting thread (Havent been back for a few days). Of course you are going to have critics, you are going to trigger people, etc.
I sincerely hope people can read your story and look at the larger landscape - at adoption and what it does to mothers and children - and use your story as a raw honest example. I dislike when people personalize it (largely cuz I am your friend but also because that takes away from the real meat of the issue. Punishing you, flaming you, judging you will do nothing to change adoption. And oddly, as I said, judging you only supports adoption by suggesting you were not/could not be a good mother and your son was better off, but wait, he wasnt, right?)
So complex.
Hi Suz. I use feedblitz to subscribe to most blogs (including yours) and have RSS feed for FMF. But neither sends comments, just new posts. I'll look into that.
Honestly, I didn't feel "flamed" by what was said. Mostly I felt sad. So much pain as a result of adoption. I know my writing is going to trigger some (or even all) and that there will be critics. I can take it. Like you, I hope people read my book and understand that it's not just my story, but an example of what can happen when mother and child are separated and when/if they reunite.
Thank you for your support, my friend.
Try a reader. You may like it. It allows you to read all your blogs in one place and then if something hits you you can go and comment or read the comments.
That thread also came to mind when reading some recent Jennifer Lauck work about responding or reacting to critics. Clearly, you respond. Kudos to you.
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